It’s Out of Love that I Disagree

When I was 13, I stood up at a local meeting of the board of education and voiced my concerns over removing religious references out of holiday displays. I come from a small, rural community and it wasn’t uncommon to see a manger scene or sing Silent Night at Christmas in a school setting. I didn’t agree with the idea of having these references removed and felt that as a member of the student body I was entitled to an opinion. There were a couple of reporters in the audience and so I later read in print the words I said that night.

I was a fairly articulate 13-year-old, but still a 13-year-old. Yet, that didn’t make a difference with some. Long before anonymous comments, there were letters to the editor. Several were written about my statements and some were not so nice. Although a little upset, I realized early on that people will not like what you have to say regardless of how you say it or even who says it.

That didn’t matter to me for many years, but over time I began to silence my voice. If my opinion wasn’t part of the popular majority, what I said was thought to be uneducated or prejudiced or out of some hate. It didn’t matter the topic. It could have been something related to a public policy or a spiritual matter or why remaking Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was a bad, bad idea. I grew up debating issues with family members and classmates. There was an unspoken requirement that your arguments needed to be researched and analyzed critically (as much as possible dependent upon your age). I was used to having conversations where you would listen to each other, maybe alter your opinion some, but if not, you were able to agree to disagree and truly mean it.

Those days no longer exist. So I found my voice becoming quieter and quieter until I no longer offered an opinion to anyone outside my inner circle. But my inner 13-year-old has been yearning to be stretched a little and so I write this post.

There’s a lot going in the world today. There’s been a lot going on in my own personal world as well. Decisions are being made on a daily basis. I don’t always agree with them – those made by the people I love and those being made by people I don’t know but that have a lot of bearing on society. I will not write about what decisions I agree with or don’t agree with – you are not part of my inner circle. But I do want to say this – on those issues that I disagree with you or the majority/minority, it’s out of love that I disagree.

We use the word love a lot. We all have our individual definitions of love – I choose to use 1 Corinthians 13 as the basis for my definition.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV)

It’s a beautiful definition of love, but there’s a part of love that is often overlooked. Look again at verse 6: Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Using this definition – if I truly love someone, I can’t get excited when someone makes an evil decision. Evil evokes strong thoughts and are usually associated with the most vile of activities. But the Greek word for evil is adikia which means unrighteousness, as in a violation of God’s standards which brings divine disapproval. Therefore, if I truly love you – I can’t celebrate your actions when you violate what I believe is one of God’s standards.

I understand that everyone has their own opinions about what God’s standards are. There are things that I think are violations that you may disagree with and vice versa. Again, I’m not here to argue what those differences may or may not be. I just want to say that when disagreements happen, it’s not out of hatred or lack of education or bias or trying to interfere in someone’s choices. It’s simply out of a conviction of love.

The Temptation of QVC

I have a confession to make. I’m a bit of a television shopping addict, in particular QVC. Yes, it’s true. Thankfully – I don’t often buy. Several years back I had some moments of weakness and a yearning for Christmas and succumbed to some Christmas in July “specials”. I wasn’t particularly thrilled by the quality of the purchases so that has tempered future purchases. Yet, I still find some sort of solace in watching people tell me how great a product is and how much I need it. Weird, I know.

I do buy a few beauty products from QVC – but that is simply because it truly is the best price for what I’m buying. (I’ve comparison shopped and they happen to be the best deals.) But because I’ve been satisfied with these purchases and have a *trace* (or more) of vanity in me, I find that the hocking of beauty products creates a strong temptation to buy. Who doesn’t want to look younger automatically or have the best hair or have soft, supple skin? And they will let me have it on easy pay!! I resist – mostly because my bank account tells me I have to – but I continue to watch and try to rationalize a purchase. It is a strong temptation that could be avoided if I just turn the channel. And yet, I don’t.

Since this happened just yesterday (and yes, I did resist), I began to ponder about temptation. We are all tempted by different things, but we are all tempted. It’s just a fact of life. And during those times, we have to use all of our will power and rely on something greater than ourselves to endure and resist.

That’s probably one of the reasons the “lead us not into temptation” part is in the Lord’s prayer. We pray that we won’t be lead into temptation, but what are we doing about leading ourselves into temptation? If I know that something will test my will power, am I not responsible for avoiding or minimizing those situations? If my weakness is gossip, do I spend hours of time with people who love to gossip? If I know I’m addicted to sugar, do I spend all my time in a dessert shop? If I know that watching an hour of my favorite products on QVC will test my limits not to hit buy (as benign as that might sound), am I not responsible for walking away or changing the channel?

Like most things in life, we have a responsibility in temptation. What are we doing about it?

Skins Fan…and Wooly All Over

I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I know that hate is a harsh word that we shouldn’t use, but if you are a Washington Redskins fan like I am, you understand that hate is an appropriate word to describe feelings about the Dallas Cowboys. When I was reminded a couple of weeks ago that the Redskins-Cowboys game was last Monday night, I made a quick prayer/fleece underneath my breath. It was all but forgotten until I caught the score of the game. Again, I reiterated my fleece. It was down to the wire, but Washington came out the winner and I had the answer to my fleece.

Are you a “fleece-er” like Gideon? Like me? To catch the full story on Gideon, read Judges 6-8. The short version was that Gideon was a man looking for an answer from God so asked God to give him a sign. He put out a wool fleece and asked God for the ground to be dry in the morning, but the fleece to have all the morning dew. God agreed. In the morning, the ground was dry and the fleece was full of dew.

God knew Gideon needed signs – and He graciously provided them for Gideon. He knows that, at times, we do too and I believe He continues to be gracious in providing them for us today. But it was never His plan for us to walk under these wooly fleeces. And even when we ask, He may not answer. There are times when He says my words are enough. Trust in them. My character is enough. Believe in it. My love is enough. Rest in it.

Do I really believe that the result of the Washington-Dallas game was a true answer to my fleece? No. And even though I am wooly all over from the many fleeces I have laid out in my life and probably the many more I will do in the future, I know that  most of the time God remains silent. He trusts that my knowledge of who He is will sustain my faith in times of doubt.

What answers are you seeking from God? Are you putting out fleeces? Even if God doesn’t answer, know that He has given you all the answers you need to know.

(www.animalstown.com)

Scars

I wish I could say I was extremely graceful; but, alas, I am not. I have more bumps and bruises than I would care to admit because of how ungraceful I really am. And then there are those injuries that are due to my own choices of risks taken or shoes too tight worn. In either case, I have acquired a few scars along the way.

I’m not a big fan of scars. Aside from the fact they can be ugly, they are constant reminders of past hurts.

Although I can’t remember every scar, there are many where I know exactly what happened and what frame of mind I was in when the accident occurred. Some of the scars I really want to forget about.

Thankfully, there are scar remover gels and creams that help minimize or even eradicate the appearance of scars. I have learned that as soon as a wound starts to take on an appearance of a scar, I start applying the gel and after a couple of weeks it’s hardly noticeable.

I have a scar that I would like to go away, but I just didn’t have any hope of ever seeing it healed. It’s one of those that I have had for years and the scar seemed to go so down deep in the skin. But since the gel worked on other scars, it couldn’t hurt to try right? After months of treatment, the scar is almost gone. In fact, I have to look closely to see any remnants of it.

We all have had wounds that have left scars. Some of them are physical; others cannot be seen with the visible eye. But they are there as constant reminders of past hurts, betrayals, and broken dreams and promises. Some are new and others have been with us for years.

But just like there is treatment for our physical scars, there is even a better remedy for those scars that are unseen. Isaiah 53:5 tells us, “But he (Christ) was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and by his stripes we are healed.” It’s not only from physical maladies we are healed, but He heals us of those deep wounds that only He can see.

The two things I have learned about my scars are this: one – no matter how old the scar, it can be healed. And two, we are not meant to live with scars. We cannot escape this world without being hurt, but Christ has bore the stripes so that we do not have to live with these constant reminders.

Do you have scars that still need to be healed? Time helps to lessen the hurt, but only Christ can remove the pain and the reminder. He’s willing, ready, and waiting.

Underneath the Weeds

I am no gardener. A green thumb? Never had it. In fact, I’m probably as far away from a green thumb as one can possibly be. Just ask the neighbors. Although I make attempts at keeping the flower beds in decent shape, it doesn’t take long before the growth and dead to invade.

I have irises in my flower bed. They are absolutely beautiful when they bloom, but the leaves and stalks will quickly die once their blooming season is over. A good gardener would remove the leaves/stalks as they die. Yeah, I’m not a good gardener. Here’s a picture of one of the plants that was before me as winter became spring:

Not pretty, right? And that wasn’t the worse plant! It’s hard to believe that anything beautiful could come from that mess.

But underneath the dried out stalks and dead leaves, something was there. As I cut down the stalks and removed leaf and leaf, I noticed little shoots of green coming from the ground. Underneath the old, something new was being born.

Life is a lot like that sometimes, isn’t it? We find ourselves in situations where life seems dead and dried out. Nothing good or new can seem to come from them. And if we’ve been in the situations long enough, all that we see are those things that dead.

There are times when God calls the dead things back to life (Romans 4:17). Other times, God removes the leaves a little at a time to reveal something new. Scripture tells us: “And the one sitting on the throne said, ‘Look, I am making everything new!'” (Revelation 21:5).

To see the new, we have to look underneath the weeds. And to fully experience the new, the dead has to be removed. Sometimes God is the one who weeds out the dead in our lives through the circumstances and situations that are out of our control. Other times, He prompts us to make the cuts and remove the dead. Whichever situation you are facing, keep looking for the new…it’s there.

And when the new finally blooms….what a beautiful site it is!

(Not my irises/picture, but this is what they look like when blooming)

 

If….Then

Are you an if…then person? I am. I guess I’ve always known that I was one, but it took a moment this past weekend that made this reality front and center.

What’s an if…then person? An If….then person is one who says they will do something contingent upon something else happening. For example, if the Cubs when the World Series then I will go skydiving. If I hit all green lights, then I will exercise when I get home. If I get that promotion, then I will volunteer at the homeless shelter.

Yup, I’m an if…then person. Can you relate?

I think I’m in an if…then person for a variety of reasons. At times, I do use the if…then test to confirm things in my spirit that I’m not so sure about. Other times I use it as a way to avoid doing things that should or don’t want to do. (The likelihood of the Cubs winning the World Series anytime soon is very slim and I am horribly afraid of heights.) And then there are times (particular in sports) I use the if…then thing to bargain with God to get my way.

But the if…then test can be a dangerous thing, especially if you make an if…then appeal to God. Because when we do, God expects us to keep our word. Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 tells us, “When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.” The words of our mouth, if said with true intent, are binding…even when they are not to God. Numbers 30:2 says: “f a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”

God takes our pledges seriously, even when we don’t. Just ask Jephthah. He made an if…then vow to God. If God gave the Ammonites into Jephthah’s hands, then whatever comes out of the door to his home upon his triumph arrival, he would sacrifice it as a burnt offering. The Ammonites were delivered unto Jephthah and it was Jephthah’s daughter that met him at the door when he came home, who happened to be his only daughter. Jephthah knew that his if…then was a vow that had to be kept, even when the keeping of the vow brought heartbreak.

So the next time you start to do an if…then test, think about what you are saying. If you know that the “then” part isn’t something you really mean to do – make that known to God and to yourself. Otherwise you may find that you have made vows that God expects you to keep – even when you don’t.

A Cloud of Witnesses

As I watch the craziness unfold at Wimbledon, I’m reminded of a match of the French Open I watched a few weeks back. The match was between Andy Murray and Gael Monfils. Andy Murray easily won the first two sets of the match and looked like he was about to cruise to win the match in 3 sets. But then came the crowd. The crowd had always been on the side of the home country favorite, Gael Monfils, but midway through the 3rd set the crowd increased their intensity and fervor in cheering. And then it happened.

Monfils began to feed off the crowd. He won point after point and came back to win the 3rd set. The crowd was electrified. Andy Murray was visibly shaken by the cheers and chants of the spectators. The crowd did not stop and the fourth set went to Monfils.

The match went to 5 sets and eventually Andy Murray regained his composure enough to win. However, these spectators who came to watch the match soon found themselves as much involved in the game as if they were the players.

As I watched the match, the image of the cloud of witnesses popped in my head. In Hebrews 12:1, it says: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us“. We have our witnesses that our watching the race we are running. I think that, just like the witnesses of the Monfils-Murray match, they are not only watching, but are there cheering us on. Encouraging us when we fall to get up. Willing us to go farther. Push harder. Reach higher.

Often times we feel like we are alone in our fights and battles. We know that God is always there watching over us, but sometimes we want more. In those times, let’s remind ourselves that we have our own crowd cheering for us. A crowd who sees every narrow miss and every point won….and they won’t stop cheering until we win.

Lessons from an Underpass – Detours of Life

I’ve been learning a lot lately from a “one-car-at-a-time” underpass on a road that I travel almost daily. The first lesson it taught me was about the detours of life. As I suppose is true with most underpasses, there is a height restriction. On more than one occasion, I have watched a tractor trailer truck approach the underpass and realize that he is not going to be able to pass. And thus begins the huge effort of turning around a large truck in a tiny space.

Most of the time, I don’t even think it’s the fault of the driver. Since there is an industrial park near this underpass, I’m sure that this road is one of the ways that GPS guides drivers. In my mind, I imagine the driver enjoying his ride, thinking he is close to his destination. He has followed all the directions and never once veered off course. He is confident in where he is going because the GPS is knowledgeable and has successfully guided him to where he needs to go multiple times over.Why wouldn’t this trip be any different?

But it is. There is an underpass that he can’t go under. He didn’t do anything wrong – and yet, he has to find a different route to take.

Have you ever felt that way? I have. I’ve been doing life – doing all the things I’m supposed to be doing – following the directions I’m supposed to be taking – when suddenly in my path is an obstacle that creates a detour. I didn’t do anything wrong – but here it is. And so I begin to have to regroup and find a “recalculation” of life.

These recalculations can be frustrating. They can take time to turn around and get yourself ready to go in a new direction. They don’t always make sense when you know the destination is less than a mile away, but the detour will take you further away before you get closer.

But what my experience at the underpass has shown me – is that even though a truck has to take a detour – the location is not of reach. There are roads that will get a driver to the industrial park. It just takes some backing up, turning around, getting straight and then moving forward. Yes, it does add unwanted time to get there – but they will get there.

Proverbs 16:9 tells us that “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Sometimes the detours are not His doing. Sometimes the actions of others causes detours that weren’t originally part of the plan. But sometimes, He knows that the road He is leading us on contains an underpass we can’t go under….but He is there directing all of our steps.

I can’t say I always understand why detours happen. Most of the time, I have no clue. But I do that even though they exist – it doesn’t mean that the destination has changed.

The Underpass

 

Good Worth Fighting For – Acceptance

There comes a point in each season of disappointment where we must accept the disappointment before us and grow from that acceptance.  David was one of the few examples that I know that came to a place of acceptance quickly and it was over the death of David and Bathsheba’s first son. Scripture tells us that their firstborn was struck ill. David fasted and prayed for six days. On the seventh day, the child died. When David learned of this news, he cleaned himself up, worshiped the Lord, and then ate. “He [David] answered, ‘While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.’” (2 Samuel 12:22)

I think it’s fair to say that most of us do go from disappointment to acceptance that fast. I know that it hasn’t been that way for me. But David demonstrates some important principles in processing disappointment. The first that was until God showed David otherwise, David held on to hope that his son would live. He didn’t give up or accept disappointment before it came. He kept believing for the good. Secondly, when the child did die, David did not see this as the end of his hope. No, the hope didn’t manifest itself in the healing and resurrection of his child. Yet, David knew that he still had the hope of seeing the child again. Finally, David demonstrated his acceptance by worshiping the Lord.

For most, acceptance takes time. There are may be many emotions and stages of grief that we have to go through. And then we finally come to the place where we accept the sovereignty of God in the situation. We may not always understand why our hope wasn’t fulfilled in the ways we had asked nor may we understand in what unseen ways they were. But we acknowledge that God’s ways are higher than our own, and that God is good…and so is hope.

You see, soon after acceptance we are faced with the question as to whether or not to hope again. It’s not a decision that is as easy as it may sound. At least it hasn’t always been for me. Once we have been disappointed by hope, it’s hard to make ourselves vulnerable to hope again. We know that there’s the possibility we will encounter a situation where our helps may not be fulfilled again. If you are like me, you may wonder if you can survive another disappointment. It’s scary. Even though something has been accepted, it doesn’t mean that the pain of that situation is forgotten.

But hope is worth fighting for.

There’s a scene from the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers that I would like to leave you with. Frodo and Sam have been diverted off of their trip to Mordor. They have been on this journey for a while. They are hungry and tired. They have fought one enemy after another. Their journey doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon….and Frodo wants to give up. But as Sam reminds Frodo, there is good in the world and it’s worth fighting for.

Friend, you may have come through the battle of disappointment beaten and worn. You may have accepted the reality of a hope not met and are ready to get rid of the hope all together. But don’t give up. Hope may not have come when and how you wanted,  but hope can still be fulfilled…and it is worth fighting for.

A Crushed Spirit – Depression Pt 3

For many years, I had understood the truth in Proverbs 18:21: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” So I had been careful about the words I said over other people’s lives and strove to speak edifying words and blessings. I was just starting to put into practice the same philosophy over my own life when I first encountered the possibility of a hope being fulfilled. But now I was at a place where I couldn’t muster the strength to say one word of hope or promise. So my journey began by not giving any more power to my current situation. I was speaking words like: “I hurt so much.” “I can’t do this.” “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Now these words were true. I was in a world of hurt and there was no way I get through the pain on my own – and believe me when I say, I really didn’t want to do it anymore. However, as long as I kept claiming that I was in the place, I was only making the process of getting through the pain that much harder. But I didn’t have the strength it took to claim the promises of God for my life yet. Instead, my first steps to healing came from not agreeing with my feelings. If these thoughts came to my mind, I pushed them away from my mind. Ignoring them took all the strength I had – but God honored that. And soon, I was able to not only ignore the thoughts but also replace them with the truths of God. I could do all things – even pushing through this pain – through Christ who strengthened me. When I was feeling weak, I knew that it was an opportunity for Jesus to become strong in me. I moved from discourager to encourager.

As you meditate on these things, I believe you will find your strength starting to return. I can’t tell you how long it will take – and some days are better than others. There might be a day or two when you feel like you are back to square one – but you are not!! You are getting stronger because in your weakness, you are giving Jesus the opportunity to become strong in you. Soon, you’ll find that you are able to start believing in the good things of God. I moved from ignoring negative thoughts to replacing the negative with Scriptural truths to finally speaking over my life the promises of God – including in the area of my disappointed hope. I was filling my life with the reminders of God’s love so that out of the abundance of my heart – my mouth spoke.

Remember, there is power in the tongue. Thinking does not move the mountain. Jesus told his disciples: “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.” (Mark 11:23, emphasis mine) We release power when we proclaim things about our life – be it good or bad. Perhaps that’s why our mothers taught us if we don’t have anything good to say about someone, don’t say anything at all. 2 Corinthians 4:13 tells us: “It is written: ‘I believed; therefore I have spoken.’ With the same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak.” If you have experienced a disappointed hope, your hurt may be tainting your ability to believe. But in time, you will get there. God will heal your heart. By His stripes, you are healed – all of you. And if you need more convincing, remember God is greater than your heart and He knows all things.

Friend, I would be bereft if I did not close with this final thought about depression.  If you are suicidal, please seek professional help immediately! Coming out of depression is not an easy journey – and sometimes it requires the advice and expertise of trained professionals. If you find yourself at a place in a continued and prolonged state of depression, I encourage you to find a Christian counselor. God has provided Godly men and women with the gifts, education, and experiences needed to help you bear this load. Remember, you are not alone.

We are almost through all of the stages…check back on Thursday for the final stage – acceptance.